Composition draft 4

Below this line is my totally edited composition. Seriously edited.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From my house, I watched the airplane circle in the air above the HDB flats, disappearing from sight when it went above my block. It circled a few more times and started to fly away. My eyes still trailed the plane as it flew away. Just as I was about to leave the window, I heard a deafening crash. I snapped my head to the direction of the living room, and to my horror, I saw the roof of my house caved in, and so did the lights. Everything in the living room was flattened and smashed to smithereens. I stood there dumbstruck and speechless, staring at the demolished living room. The living room was veiled in a cloud of dust, making me cough violently. When the dust cleared, I saw a –

“GIANT OCTOPUS!” I screamed as loud and as long as I could, until I ran out of breath. I stood rooted to the ground, staring at the octopus. It was waving its eight tentacles around in the air, as if it was lashing out at someone. Then, it started moving towards me. It was still alive and able to move somehow, when it should be dead by now. It came towards me slowly but surely, now tentacles whipping at a target – me. My parents were not at home. My father was not here to lead to me safety; my mother was not here to comfort me. I had to make my own decision. By now, the octopus was right in front of me. I was trapped. My only hope of escape was by jumping through the window. However, I was faced with a dilemma. On one hand, I lived on the 14th floor, the highest floor, and jumping down meant certain doom; however, on the other hand, a murderous octopus was waiting to shred me to pieces.

I decided. I would rather take my chances with a bush breaking my fall. “I must be mad.” I took a deep breath and jumped through the window, shattering the glass. A tentacle came cracking at where my head had been just a fraction of a second ago. Tears streamed from my eyes, and I shouted myself hoarse. I could just make out a group of people staring at my slight figure. As I was about to hit the ground, I thought to myself: Goodbye cruel world. I closed my eyes and braced for impact…

There was a sound of springs breaking under high pressure when I landed on something that smelt like it came out of a rubbish dump. I bounced onto the hard cement floor. I’m not dead, I thought to myself. Then I shouted, “I’m not dead!” I heaved a sigh of relief, but then I saw the octopus jumping out of the window too. I ran as fast as I could, and there was another person sprinting alongside me. “You ok?” When he said that, I knew he was my savior.